Deep Dive with Dr D
Discussions on life and living with Dr D. A man who has risen from the lowest depths of life to the amazing life he has now.
Deep Dive with Dr D
From Friendship to Marriage: The 20-Year Journey of Growth and Recovery (w/guest Katrina Douglas)
In this heartfelt conversation, Dr. David Douglas interviews his wife Katrina Douglas about their journey together, her passion for preschool education, and the wisdom she's gained through 26 years of recovery.
• David and Katrina met in 2001 and were friends for nearly a decade before becoming life partners
• Their relationship is built on teamwork, fun, and happiness
• Katrina owns and operates Sunflower Preschool, where she prioritizes social-emotional learning before academics
• She believes children need to develop self-regulation, communication skills, and problem-solving abilities before they can effectively learn academically
• Katrina created a "parent huddle" group to help parents support each other and realize they're not alone in their parenting journey
• Her teaching philosophy focuses on building confidence and independence in children
• Maintaining recovery requires daily self-care including exercise, yoga, social connections, and personal time
• Learning to be gentle with herself has been key to Katrina's personal growth
• Final words of wisdom: "Be yourself. It is okay to be who you are."
We're there. We have 25 over here. So let me do my quick intro, if you don't mind. Welcome to Deep Dive with Dr D, and I always do my shameless plug for my book Grit Over Shame. You can get it wherever you buy books. Oh nice, I got Vanna White here. You can get it locally in Ellensburg at pearl street books and gerald's. You can get it online at gerald'scom, amazoncom, ebook on uh, uh, kindle and apple books and you can get the audiobook with yours truly narrating um on audible and uh, this one is in it. A lot here. Look at this one, this one. So I have with me my special guest today. Okay, so she's.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what camera to look at. That one Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so she's posing. See, Getting this one a picture of her in the wild, as I say no Without her posing. I love doing it, but it's a rare opportunity because if there's a camera on her she's smiling. So I have with me my wife, Katrina Douglas, and I'm going to let her introduce herself, but I have, like I do with my guests, I have some questions. Likely we will not get through all of these. I like to keep this. You know less than an hour-ish, so we're just going to see where it goes. Some themes are our story together, her recovery and growth, her work and calling, philosophy and fun, and then I'll ask my two closing questions that I always like to ask each guest. So, Katrina, Now this is a podcast, so this goes out to the world. So some people you know I always assume everyone knows me and they don't and so introduce yourself to the world on Deep Dive with Dr D.
Speaker 2:My name is Katrina Douglas and I am a preschool teacher. Like, do I say what I do?
Speaker 1:Yeah, say whatever you want, personal, professional.
Speaker 2:I'm a preschool teacher for about I'm going into my fifth year and prior to that I worked for the city at the Adult Activity Center for about 12 years and then, even prior to that, I worked in Yakima at an assistant living facility. So I enjoy being with my dogs, being with my husband right here, laughing, having fun. Um, I love my garden, looking at my garden, seeing outside in the sun when it's really warm and just Enjoying the fresh air.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, okay, no, that's good. So so your preschool teacher and a preschool owner, yes, it's important to know that you have built it from the ground up to be the amazing place it is for children to live, so that's commendable. So, and then, yeah, you worked for the Adult Activity Center for 12 years, so I love to do.
Speaker 2:I teach jazzercise.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do.
Speaker 2:And I love yoga.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do, okay, Nice, yeah, all right. Exercise yes, you do, and I love yoga. Yes, you do okay, nice, yeah, all right, and uh yeah let's, let's do this, let's get into some of these questions because I think that'll help facilitate some conversation. Okay, um, so we'll start with, uh, the the theme of these questions are your story together, our story okay so we've known each other over 20 years.
Speaker 1:Yes, friends first. We were friends for over a decade, now life partners. I said you got me for life, this is it, you're the one for me and I'm the one for you, hopefully forever. Okay, what?
Speaker 2:do you think, kept pulling us back into each other's orbit all those years. I think you know sharing recovery with each other and also we built a really good friendship and so I think that you know the foundation is our friendship.
Speaker 1:And then we turned into partners.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wouldn't you say? Yeah, I would agree, agree, yeah I think it was.
Speaker 1:Uh, you know. So those that don't know me and katrina have known each other since 2001. Um, we were friends for, like I say, near a decade, about a decade before we even contemplated dating. Um, and we, yeah we, we met in the recovery community and we're friends for a long time still are well and I think too, just going through life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I mean because I basically grew. I mean I grew up in at cosmopolis washington, but when I turned 18 I moved to ellensburg and that's where my next, you know, growth as an adult happened and so know, and just the ups and downs of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. We've been through a lot, yeah, yeah, and now this year will be 13 years 13 years. And 14 years together and known, known each other for 20 something years yeah, long time, uh. And for those that don't know, we, we have an adult son. I have a son from a previous marriage, tyler um, and we have two grandsons, alaric and anthony, and katrina's been in their lives their whole life. Yeah, uh, yeah, anthony was a toddler was a baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a toddler.
Speaker 1:Well, you've known him though yeah, I mean, yeah, no, tyler, forever yeah, um, we don't have any children together and we kind of say now, uh, her kids are her preschool kids. Yeah, um, yeah, so okay, let's try it. Oh yeah, there we go okay which one. You had to explain our relationship in three words, what would they be?
Speaker 2:um fun. Okay, teamwork and fun, teamwork and happy yeah, fun is true, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we went to a concert last night at the gorge and and this hanging out with this one's always, always, always an adventure. So she's sitting there, we're sitting in our lawn chairs listening to the music, and she whispers over to me. She's like honey, honey, I think I'm going to go get those chicken strips. I've been thinking about them ever since we got here. I'm like, well, go get the damn chicken strips. Well, I think I'm going to go get those chicken strips. I've been thinking about them ever since we got here. I'm like, well, go get the damn chicken strips. Well, I think I might get some popcorn too. I'm like go get some damn popcorn. That's just a little small snippet of what it's like hanging out with this one.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love food.
Speaker 1:Did you like your chicken strips?
Speaker 2:Yeah, those were actually good chicken strips. They. You would think they would be kind of like overcooked, and even the fries were good. So popcorn was way too salty and it didn't have enough butter.
Speaker 1:But she was contemplating those chicken strips for an hour. We had been there for an hour.
Speaker 2:No, we had been there for a couple hours.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:Because I ate those tacos but I was still kind of hungry, but I'm kind of paying for it today.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you, oh, you said another word teamwork, and that's teamwork, I think is hands down number one that's probably the core of our relationship yeah you know we've been through stuff as you go through things good, bad and ugly.
Speaker 1:You know, I think about oof walking through hospice care with mom. She was a rock, like just side by side. You know I'll never forget when your grandma passed. It's like, okay, we're getting in the car and we're going over there the preschool. You know, when she said she wanted to start a preschool, I said, okay, we're starting a preschool. Yeah, going through my doctoral process, ooh, that was crazy, all of my stuff that I've wanted to do. We're always a team and that's how we always do things in our life as a couple and in our relationship. At its core is we're always a team. And you said fun. And you said one other thing Happy, happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I bring happiness to you honey, a lot, of, a lot of happy comes to through this one. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, this is great. Oh, okay, okay, you can ask me this one too. Okay, what's one thing you've learned about yourself from being married to me? Be gentle.
Speaker 2:It says in parentheses um or not, my first thought was let it go. Just let it go, because usually in relate well, what I found in relationships is it's not whatever your partner is going through or your friend or whatever it may be, it's usually not about you, it's about their own stuff. And so, um, I've really had to learn to work on. Just david is who. David is okay. I can't control him. Can I tell him what to do? Yeah, does he listen sometimes? But just let it go, it's okay, and it it will pass. That's the other thing is it passes, you know, and it's not all about me, okay.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, ask me the question.
Speaker 2:Okay. So, honey, yes, what's one thing you've learned about yourself from being married to me? Be gentle, yeah.
Speaker 1:To love unconditionally.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I think about she has this ability and now I've taken it on to just we have conflict and then we just let it go. We don't carry stuff, we don't, we don't carry things. And I don't know if it's that I've learned this about you, but I think also from your parents in some ways is that in previous I've been in some relationships, I've been in some marriages. Those that know our path you, you know she, this is her first marriage. This is my fourth. There you go. But I this is my first relationship, marriage that splitting up or taking a break has never been an option. We're, we're in it to win it. We're in it forever. And I think I've learned some of that stability from you. Yeah, yeah and okay. So our next section. Actually, you pick a section of questions, miss Katrina Douglas, recovery and growth, work and calling philosophy and fun. Which one?
Speaker 2:Hmm, let's do work and calling.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is good.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're a preschool owner, operator, educator and heart-on-the-sleeve advocate for children. That's just beautiful. What fuels your passion on the hard days?
Speaker 2:That whatever the child is experiencing at that time is temporary. It's just a blip in their path. So if the student is having a lot of emotions or the day is just chaotic, guess what? Tomorrow's a new day and we just move on from the previous day and we restart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do that really well. Yeah, I really try.
Speaker 2:And I say that to parents also.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do.
Speaker 2:You know if it's you know. I mean you always have to have a plan B and sometimes you're on plan D also. And I think, too, this profession has really taught me to be flexible, to meet the child where they're at. And some days it's we need to laugh, we need to have fun, we need to be silly. Other days it's we need to be outside more. It just depends on you know where the students are out for the day.
Speaker 1:You do really well with that, Because me, when I'm like send them home and you're like just go away, yeah that because me, what am?
Speaker 2:I'm like send them home and you're like just go away. Yeah, and I, you know, I really I mean this is probably one of the questions, but I really have a passion for social and emotional growth within every student who comes to sunflower. That is like our foundation. I like cannot say that enough is is teaching our students how they feel, self-regulation, communicating with me, with their friends, with their parents, problem-solving skills. We really worked on that last year and that was a game-changer in the classroom and I just, you know, and I've told David this before First, when students first come to Sunflower, it is social emotional growth is number one.
Speaker 2:We spend six to eight weeks and that doesn't mean that we forget about it after those six to eight weeks. We keep going with it. But it's just that social emotional part for six to eight weeks and then I slowly bring in the academic for six to eight weeks and then I slowly bring in the academic. However, if the student is still having a hard time social emotionally, then we need to backtrack a little bit, reteach some of that social emotional stuff, practice it and then eventually they'll get to the academic part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you said it well this last year it was really short and sweet. It's like you have to have the social, emotional learning in place before you can expect a child to learn academically.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that was beautiful.
Speaker 2:And you do that really well. Yeah, that's just so important.
Speaker 1:I'm going to ask one more of these. Oh, here we go. If you could write a message to every parent who walks through your preschool door, what would it say?
Speaker 2:be gentle with yourself when raising your child, because you are not the only one who is going through um, that early childhood phase, and that there are parents also that are going through the same things as you are. So I think too. Last year I started a parent huddle group and this year I'm going to work on a little bit more but really parents sharing, like what's going on at home and how we can all work together to help each other. Because, like they say, it's true it takes a village to raise a child, and I feel so grateful to be part of each one of Sunflower students' village and that parents are allowing me to be a part of that, but that we're all in this together and we're all experiencing those same things.
Speaker 1:I think I've seen you do this really well, like we have developed relationships with our alumni. Now kids with their parents and the community. But you do that really well in that the kids don't just come here and then you send them home, you talk to the parents regularly.
Speaker 1:You communicate with those parents that want to and you develop those relationships. And that parent huddle, I think, was a really cool thing and that's once a month. Any of the parents can come and they'll just maybe have open, free conversation, or Katrina will give some kind of lesson or a topic, and it's an opportunity for parents. I think the key thing to know they're not alone. Yeah, exactly, there are other parents that have the same struggles the same successes and that's a really cool thing that brings the community together.
Speaker 2:And also that you know I think too is that I'm here for you. Yeah, you know I'm, I'm, I really try to. If a parent needs to talk, I'm here for you. I hear you, I understand, I can see it, and also that, have fun.
Speaker 2:This is some of. I mean, these are the times three to five, or even two to five, two to six. It's just like this time in your child's life where they're just like learning new things and they're developing the vocab, this vocabulary, and they'll. I've had parents come home and say, oh, my child was talking to me about, you know, we do a lesson on five senses and they were explaining each of their five senses and how it and how it relates to their bodies and blah, blah, blah, and it's just like, yeah, you know those kind of things. And I want to say one more thing is yeah, I was, um, we did like a play group outside of sunflower and one of the parents said it well is that sunflower teaches kids, their students, how to be confident and independent, and I thought that was really, really powerful, because that's another one that I love.
Speaker 1:Teaching is those skills like how to put on your shoes, how to put on your coat how to open their little snack stuff, how to get their own snack, how to hang up there. I think that is. It seems really small, but it's powerful it is.
Speaker 2:It teaches them independence and that gives them confidence yeah and you know, when we go to the library and stuff I you know sunflower students, they'll go up. They have enough confidence to go up to other kids at the library and say, hey, do you want to play? And just having those skills to like be confident in themselves to interact with other kids very Very good, the next section actually you pick, so we got two sections left. No, you pick one now. You want me to pick?
Speaker 1:one. Okay, let's go to recovery and growth, because you just celebrated this year, 26 years in recovery yes, I did. What's something that still surprises you about your journey?
Speaker 2:Thinking about being a person in long-term recovery your journey, thinking about being a person in long-term recovery just every year. How life, you know life has its challenges, but there's also these beautiful moments, and I think I know being in recovery allows me to see those moments, you know, like the dreams that you've always had.
Speaker 2:You know, I've I've dreamt about being a teacher, maybe owning my own preschool, doing these things, and now, you do true, yeah, coming true, it is true, you did it, yeah it is true, and I think, too believing in myself that I can accomplish this, because I remember when I went, started going back to school in 2018 to get my teaching certificate, I had one class and it was a math class, and I was deathly afraid of math. Well, guess what? I did my master's on my master's like thesis, and all that was centered around math, you know. So it's conquering those fears and I'm able to do that with confidence in recovery.
Speaker 1:What's been your biggest struggle as a person in recovery?
Speaker 2:I think, just my self-esteem and knowing that I'm good enough and that I'm okay the way that I am, that God made me. Yeah, I think that's taken me a long time.
Speaker 1:Well, you're pretty confident.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, some days, some days are.
Speaker 1:You're kind of cocky sometimes. You're not going to show them your guns. Huh, yeah, yeah, okay. Oh, here we go. You're around families, kids and chaos daily. How do you protect your peace and stay grounded in recovery? This is a great opportunity to talk about how you, because you do this well, I think. Yeah, go.
Speaker 2:Well, I work out. I mean, I work out five days a week. I teach jazzercise and I go to yoga. Yoga is to calm my mind and my body. I love to clean. I know it annoys my husband. I love to clean. I know it annoys my husband, I understand that. But I am telling you, cleaning is my therapy At the end of the day. I like quiet my mind. I'm using my vacuum. That I just love so much.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I wonder how much can actually be vacuumed downstairs. But I'm gonna tell you, she'll tell you a lot yeah, because it's all a dog hair so cleaning, cleaning, yoga, yoga uh jazz exercise.
Speaker 2:Um, I need to remember to be around. Other people leave my house, you know. Engage with friends, go to coffee with friends. I love going to church every sunday. I love meeting with my friend uh dwana, from church and other people kerry kerry oh, my teacher friend kerry, yep, I enjoy bunco I go to bunco. I started doing that. Um, I really had to learn self even more self-care living where I work and and that sometimes I'll even tell David. Okay, we got to go for a drive Time to leave the house, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think I've said this to you, but I really admire you for how you take care of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do a really really good job. You're pretty stinking cute okay finally, I'm my migraines under control, so that's been really good too okay, we're going to take a commercial break here.
Speaker 1:Welcome back, all right, this is well they.
Speaker 2:They won't know if we're going to cut that out.
Speaker 1:No, I think I'll just keep it in, so last section, and then we'll do two closing questions. I ask every guest philosophy and fun yeah. Yeah, Okay. What's one life lesson you think every woman in recovery needs to hear, especially those balancing work, family and healing?
Speaker 2:I think it goes back to being kind to yourself, knowing that you can't get everything done in one day. And for me, I have really high expectations on myself and I've had to learn to let those expectations go and that you know you work slowly towards those goals and expectations. And I, you know I used to have really negative self-talk, like I'm fat, I'm ugly. I was teased in school too, so that contributed to it also. But also I've done a lot of counseling. I think that's important to learn. I had to learn how to communicate, use my words, just like I teach at preschool, and just be kind to yourself, yeah, yeah, because I think we're our own worst critics sometimes, you know, and that's really, really hard and I've witnessed you.
Speaker 1:Over the 20 something years I've known you mentor a lot of young women oh, thank you, honey, yeah like cassie's coming today. You know you've really mentored her and look at her and her life and I know if she's was here, she would be nodding her head. That you're.
Speaker 2:You're that beam of light, that beacon of light out head, shining the road for others and, like with jayden and lauren, and lauren and oh, and I think of, like when I worked at the adult activity center, a lot of the mayor core people that I mentored and, um, yeah, I really love mentoring. Yeah, I love doing that. I love teaching older people you are truly.
Speaker 1:This is a great question. One of the most passionate, bright, shining light people I know Drives me nuts. She is. Though what's something that lights you up that most people wouldn't expect?
Speaker 2:That's a hard question. Oh, I don't know Just what's something that lights you up most people maybe that would surprise people to hear about you, yeah, I think I don't know, just waking up every morning, being able to wake up and do the things that I get to do, or um, or shopping.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she likes to shop. I don't think that would surprise anyone. What do?
Speaker 2:you think honey.
Speaker 1:Well, I think just the simplistic nature is good. You know that you can't get out of a Costco without opening your trail mix.
Speaker 2:I'm just kind of quirky sometimes. Okay, Kind of Kind of.
Speaker 1:Okay, kind, of Kind of Okay. All right, we're two peas in a pod.
Speaker 2:You know, you're a different bird.
Speaker 2:I, you know Okay. So here's one thing. Okay, so I really enjoy every weekend. It's not a huge reset, but I reset the school, like I reorganize things, things, I get things ready and for me that gives me that lights up my life, that when the kids come in and see that they're like, oh, miss Katrina, you know they notice those things and they notice that I take time to do that and I think that, yeah, and you know the other thing, this one little boy actually there were three of them, remember when we did that circle this summer yeah, and there.
Speaker 2:Miss katrina went in there and, uh, this one, he. So I just met this one little boy this summer. He was a great kid and he says to me you can say his name, yeah, wilder, like Dr D said like what's one thing you really like about Miss Katrina? And he said she's kind and that she likes everybody, or something like that. Yeah, and I was like, oh wow, that made me feel good that I put out that energy. I know I do, but you know, sometimes yeah, Good.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're going to wrap it. But you know sometimes, yeah, okay, we're gonna wrap it up. Oh, no, we're gonna wrap it up, honey, already you don't have more questions for your wife.
Speaker 1:Okay, what is something you've always wanted to ask me?
Speaker 2:who. Okay, when you're really stressed out in your mind what is going on with your files there's a lot of fear.
Speaker 1:Okay, I struggle with uncertainty.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:But usually when I'm really, really stressed, it depends on what the topic is Like. Sometimes it's control. I fear losing control. I fear losing relationships or friendships. It's fear of losing something.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Yeah, so my files are kind of freaking out. We talk about my files because, um so when I'm really stressed, I hear a cat outside the door that's what usually it's the fear like your fear going on. Yeah, yeah yeah, okay, here it is final question. This is your opportunity to give something to the world, and it's what piece of hope or wisdom would you give to the world?
Speaker 2:be yourself. It is okay to be who you are. You don't need to mask it or hide behind it. Just be you. Oh, I like that. Like you guys, there's something about me that you might not know. I sometimes make up my own vocabulary. Okay, I think they know that and I own that. I do that and that's a unique part of me and I'm okay with that, you know that was great, yeah, thank you for joining us, until next time. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Love you.
Speaker 2:Love you.