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Deep Dive with Dr D
Discussions on life and living with Dr D. A man who has risen from the lowest depths of life to the amazing life he has now.
Deep Dive with Dr D
Rooted In Service, Driven To Lead (w/guest Kevin Willette)
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What if integrity isn’t a slogan but a set of small, unseen choices that change lives over time? We sit down with Ellensburg’s own Kevin Willette—a patrol corporal, senior SWAT operator, defensive tactics coordinator, and youth wrestling coach—to unpack a life rooted in service, shaped by family, and tested by the hardest calls a community can face.
Kevin takes us from his family’s towing business and volunteer firefighting legacy to the long route into policing through a no-pay reserve program. He shares how wrestling built his engine for resilience, why doing the “whole job” matters more than the quick job, and how leadership starts with meticulous case work and honest self-assessment. We get real about addiction: the trauma beneath the symptoms, the limits of “arrest it away,” and the power of coordinated resources like drug court and jail-based treatment when balanced with accountability. Kevin’s perspective is both tough and human—pursue the dealers, offer a hand to the users, and never confuse a person’s worst day with their entire identity.
Beyond the badge, Kevin talks boundaries and balance. Coaching 57 kids, camping deep in the backcountry, and answering to “Coach” at the grocery store keep him grounded and hopeful. He explains how he processes brutal scenes without bringing the darkness home, swaps numbing for healthier coping, and turns after-action reflection into better decisions on the next call. We close with a direct message to anyone feeling stuck: name the problem, cut the toxic noise, build a plan, and move—because your identity isn’t your past, it’s your next honest step.
If this conversation resonated, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a quick review so more people can find stories that move them forward.
Windy Sunday And Housekeeping
SPEAKER_00Welcome to Deep Dive with Dr. D. Thanks for joining us. It's a beautiful Sunday morning with typical Ellensburg wind. That's a sign that spring is coming. And I have with me uh guest Kevin Willett. Excited to have him. Um, and so my quick shameless plug from my book, of course, listen to all the podcasts. Uh, we actually, Kevin and I, before we started recording, you are my 22nd guest. Um, and this has been really cool to do. So you can watch on my YouTube channel or listen wherever you listen to podcasts. And then my book is out. Sometimes we talk about my crazy life in a little ways. Grit over shame. It's available wherever you buy books. That one is yours, my friend. Thank you. Um, so yeah, there we go. I think that's all I need to cover. Yeah, cool. Uh, yeah, you'll enjoy that. Yeah, it's uh it's a quick read. Most people read it sometimes in one setting. I call it the short story of the wild ride of my life. So enough of that. This one's about you. I'm excited to talk to you. You and I have known each other for six years-ish.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, probably six or seven years we met, um, I think at EPD when we were doing the training.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I met you there. And that's when you really um not impressed me in a like, oh yeah, but you were, you know, I did a training on substance use disorders, and you were one of the first ones that kind of raised your hand and said, Yeah, I have some uh experience in this area. You have family and recovery, and uh I just really enjoyed the conversation and I think I did a ride along with you.
SPEAKER_02You did?
SPEAKER_00I did, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Every time you see me, especially on your motorcycle, yeah, you let me know you're there. Yeah. So I know it's you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, nice. And doing the speed limit. Yeah. Yeah, but you're uh uh I really like you, and you know, we follow each other on social media. We talked a little bit before this about family stuff. I know that's important to you. So for our our viewers and listeners, uh tell the world about Kevin Willett.
SPEAKER_02Well, I am born and raised here in the Valley, born in Ellensburg, raised up in Clealam. Uh multiple generation family up here. Um my family started a business way back in the day um up in Clealam, Willet's towing. Yeah. So we've been doing public service type stuff for a long time. Long time. Uh my great-great-grandpa was how long do you think? Since 1960, it was a towing company, but before that, my grandpa was uh working for other people. Okay. Um, and volunteer firefighter. And wow. So that's the public service aspect's always been kind of a and all mostly upper county, yeah? Yeah, mostly upper county. Yeah, but my grandpa did work down here. Very well known.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So we kind of were rooted up there. Um my grandpa worked in the mines and wow. Um, yeah, so he's one of the last living um uh elders that worked in the mines back in the day. So he's he's very prideful on that, and it's cool tool to talk to him about those.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he's got some history. Okay, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02He just did that briefly because it was kind of on his tail end.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah, just raised here. Uh, went to school up in Cleelum, a free sport athlete, but I really took to wrestling.
SPEAKER_00Okay, wrestling and what were the uh football and baseball.
SPEAKER_02Oh, wide receiver. Um, I was wide receiver and a cornerback. Oh, yeah. Um, and I I spent my fair share on the bench as well at times. Sure. So um, but no, I really liked sports and kind of leading. Um, I I led the uh football team as a captain senior year and um as a wrestling captain junior senior year.
SPEAKER_03Wow.
SPEAKER_02Um I I kind of got into um some school politics type stuff. I was our senior class president. I thought that was interesting, and I didn't really realize how much work that was gonna be, but it was. Um, and so after school, I I uh just kind of went into my degree for criminal justice. Okay. Uh got my uh bachelor's degree for criminal justice and got into wanting to be a cop because I had a brother that um and we can talk about that later.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, my older brother, who's my hero, who I absolutely love, has a similar story to you. And that's I think that's where you and I kind of bonded and kind of resonated over a lot of stuff is over your story of just grit and just bouncing back and just pushing through. Um, so but I saw how the criminal justice system and how law enforcement officers in particular can impact somebody's life in a positive manner, and that really sat with me. I was like, I want to be that person. I want to one, it's a cool job. Yeah, you get to drive fast with your lights on at times, you get to help people. Um, but um at the end of the day, I do think that it makes a big impact for the community, and that's really what drew me to it originally.
SPEAKER_00Um you went to central? No, I didn't go to Central.
SPEAKER_02Oh, where'd you go? I went to ITT Tech. Oh, no way. But the crazy thing is, so I've ITT's been around forever. Well, it had been. I spent all this money to go there, got a degree, and then there was some financial bomb. So yeah, they actually but that was several years after I graduated, which so I'm like, uh, but still I put in the work, got my degree. You got you a degree?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So did that, um, started putting in for law enforcement in the time that I was putting in in 2010, 11.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02It was really hard to get a law enforcement job. It's very competitive. There was a lot of veterans coming out of uh um out of the services and out of combat. And they were getting picked up pretty, pretty good because they were professionals, they had lived experience.
SPEAKER_00Um where all were you applying?
Choosing Law Enforcement And Service
SPEAKER_02Uh basically everywhere. I mean, I I was trying to actually get out of the county. So I wanted to go out and um explore some bigger cities and sure and go out and and get some more knowledge and and kind of work uh major crime detectives or narcotics was something that I wanted to do. I really wanted to do canine officer. Um but I ended up uh a friend of mine was like, hey dude, you should uh apply for the Ellensburg Police Department Reserve Program. And a reserve program is essentially a volunteer position. You still have to do like a three and a half, four-month program, you have to pass everything, all the tests. It's not easy. So once you pass that, if you're able to pass everything, um background check, polygraph, you know, physical and stuff like that, and then you pass the actual class, then you can uh suit up, put the uniform on, and come out and basically be a cop, but for free. You're not paid, you're not compensated in any way, there's no benefits other than getting experience and helping your community. Get your foot in the door, get your foot in the door. So I was putting in eight to ten hour shifts at my parents' tow company, coming down here and riding six to eight hours when I could and and just repeat. And eventually I got picked up full time at the Ellensburg Police Department because I was putting in a lot of a lot of time there. Um and got that.
SPEAKER_00When was that?
SPEAKER_02That was in 2011.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02So I got picked up there. Yeah. Um, then I got hired full-time and I've been there full-time 14 years.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02Um, currently a senior SWAT operator for the Kiditas County Regional Uh Tactical Response Team.
SPEAKER_03Nice.
SPEAKER_02And I am our defensive tactics coordinator. I am a patrol um supervisor. I'm a corporal right now. Um so I work on a squad of three because we're one of our short squads. But I basically help with uh supervision um on the patrol level. And my goal is to hopefully uh climb the ranks and continue going. Um so with that came a desire to continue my education. So I recently finished my master's degree in criminal justice with uh a concentration on a public safety admin. Awesome. Yeah. So I got that done.
SPEAKER_00And uh Do you see yourself as a chief of police someday?
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's that's a good question. Um that's a very specific role that has to tailor the, you know, there's a lot of politics to go into that and a lot of um, you know, I I really enjoy patrol and kind of the nitty-gritty of the job right now. But um, I I could see myself going into a sergeant position first, um, dabbling into captain. And if I'm successful there and if I kind of get my my feet underneath me, I think that a chief's position would be great.
SPEAKER_00So I just wanted to mark this here now when it happens, because I believe that it's gonna happen for you. I actually had this thought this morning when I was thinking about you. I I want to be one of the first ones. You go, yep, David was right. Okay. But I could see you that in that role somewhere down the road. I think you're really enjoying what you're doing now.
From Reserve To SWAT And Leadership
SPEAKER_02I love it. It's leadership is great, um, but it's just it's it's a different style of law enforcement. You kind of have to remove yourself from the old um kind of you know, on the streets, um uh patrolling, responding to calls, um, going to critical incidents. I mean, you're kind of removing yourself, decentralizing your command and letting other people do the work for you. Yeah, so right now I'm really enjoying doing the work and getting the experiences. But yeah, I mean, uh administration, police chief, maybe even sheriff, uh throw my name in the hat down the road. Sure. But there's a lot of good dudes at the sheriff's office too that I think are great candidates for so tell us about your family. So my family just blue-collar hard workers, they love uh we're hunters, we love to be outdoors. Um, I was raised around motorsports. My dad loves to snowmobile and ride quads and or quads now because he's older, but he was a three-wheeler racer back in the day. Nice, loves his motorcycles. I think you and him would get along well. Okay. I know you have an Indian, right? I do. He's got a Harley that he polishes every weekend basically and sits underneath the cover and rides it every once in a while and stares at it. So awesome. Um, mom is from uh uh the California area, moved up here with her family to work at Shoemaker um up in Claylam. Oh wow. And they actually uh my dad and mom met kind of early on in life in 1920 and were friends and then got married and had me. Yeah, and lucky them. You and your brother, other siblings? So my brother um uh was from my mom's first marriage. Okay, yeah, so he's my half-brother. Um but he is my best friend and my hero. And I think if we can get into that later, yeah, um, just of why I I kind of took into the law enforcement position and why I think recovery and a desire to basically be patient with people and consistent with people, I think in this job is is huge for people's recovery and benefits the community.
SPEAKER_00Super cool.
SPEAKER_02So Mary, kids are Mary. I'm uh I'm getting married engaged. Yeah, so I'm engaged right now, getting married soon. Cool. Uh two I I brought two of my own to the um relationship. Okay, and um my fiance brought two of her own.
SPEAKER_00So four?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we have four. You guys are busy, yeah. One more, we'll have a little basketball team. I think we can travel around, yeah, make some money. Um nice, but yeah, we uh we are definitely busy.
SPEAKER_00And we were talking a little bit before we started. All the kids are in wrestling, some kind of sport. You guys do a lot of different things, non-stop.
SPEAKER_02So we got three in wrestling right now, one in gymnastics. The our daughter's in uh gymnastics, she's doing well with that. Cool. Um, I coach wrestling for the uh Clay Allen Mount Miners in the upper county. Yeah, um, we're uh five to fourteen years old. Busy, and we have like 57 kids right now and we had a tournament yesterday. Um, they did extremely well. Yeah, we had 25 kids um medal at the tournament, which was fantastic. Wow, um, a couple tears, but most everybody won and lost with Grace and had a good time. There's a lot of smiles, parents all had fun, so it's kind of what we're going for right now.
SPEAKER_00Super cool. Thanks for the intro. And I have to ask, I just had her on a couple episodes ago, Tatum Pine. Yeah. She you know of her?
SPEAKER_02You know the Pine family? I've never actually met her, but I've heard um, so she did some uh instruction for our uh club team out at um the Glawn's um shop recently. Yeah, and I heard nothing but good things about her.
SPEAKER_00Her family is deep wrestling. Her her brother, who I met her through, he graduated from Central, the Pines. I mean, just like rich history with wrestling and super cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think there's a direct correlation between wrestling families and like just hardworking, like just oh you have to be just gritty, like down and dirty, awesome people, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, super cool. Well, thanks for the intro. That's super cool. And I I want to share because you've said it a couple times about your brother, and I don't know if I ever shared this with you, but my older brother will always be my hero. Um, I'm actually excited. He moved to Arizona this last year, so we're gonna see him uh this month. And um, he, you know, he's always been there for me. When I was going through my stuff, he was the person always there, and it sounds like you were that person for your older brother, but yeah, I think having older brothers that's that's a big deal for for us, yeah, right? That um we always look up to them as a guiding post, and even when they struggle, because my brother struggled with life and things along the way, but um, I think we have that strong common bond.
Family, Coaching, And Community Ties
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And I think really when I met you and you put on that class at EPD for us, yeah, and you were talking about your story and kind of giving your back your story, and and the thing that I liked about you, it was like a it wasn't a watered-down version. No, I like people that are like, hey, here's me, and here's why this happened, and here's how I fixed it. Yeah, so I really enjoyed that. But then I was thinking, I was like, well, I have a similar story, and that's you know, that's kind of why I got into law enforcement, is because I see the good that this position can allow us to do and the impact it can have. And that's that's really when you were telling your story, I was like, man, I I I resonate with that. So that's why I kind of enjoyed your company and was excited to come on the pod with you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, I I uh I always say, you know, my relationship with law enforcement for me has actually always been good, even when I was doing, I wasn't one, you know, I I didn't run from cops, and you know, if I got arrested, it was like, yep, I I'm busted. And I would get pulled over and yep, you got and I that's just I'm afraid of, you know, alas. Uh and I you might remember this. I I remember back of the seat conversations with law enforcement. You know, they would I remember, you know, I can kind of visualize it now, whether it's an actual memory or perceived, but you know, cops looking in their rearview mirrors were driving to jail going, dude, you know, you you can turn this around. And and those were impactful for me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um and uh yeah, you guys are in a position where you can and can and do help a lot of people. Like I have friends in this community who are in long-term recovery who actually a couple who are like, oh, I'm excited you're gonna have Kevin on because you help them. Yeah, you know, whether or not they uh anyway, so yeah, you are in a position, and I know you and many of our officers in the city and county um help a lot of people.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And I think one of the biggest things about being from here is I know a lot of people. Yeah. So a lot of these um people that we come in contact with, especially our locals and uh that are in active addiction or they're they're trying to recover, they're just having a struggle. When you have that conversation with them, I I I tend not to take a kid glove approach to it because I'm like, hey man, like I I watched you grow up, or yeah, I grew up watching you play sports, reading your name in the newspaper. Like, yeah, you come from a great family. Yeah, you can do this. I know that you're capable of it, but you gotta want it. And a lot of times people start saying, you know, oh, here's here's the excuses why I can't. You're like, you're like, you you know that that's not true. You're using that as a cop-out. And and I've actually had people come back to me and be like, hey man, I'm five years sober, ten years sober. And I just want to let you know that your approach or your like your just kind of staying on top of me and keeping me honest and and being consistent with me helped me find sobriety, and it's something that I've thought about and I appreciated that. Yeah, and that's one of the hugest compliments that's feel, right? That dude, yeah, because it's like you've you don't know how many people you're you're actually impacting and helping in this career, yeah, because not a lot of them will come back and say it. They might have a really positive thing to say about you or or feel about you, but they're never gonna tell you that. Yeah, but the few that do that, you know, you're like, hey man, I was just doing my job, and then you turn around and this sense of pride and like just like enjoyment that maybe you made somebody's life better. Um it's fantastic. Yeah. So outside of all the cool high-speed SWAT and patrol stuff that you get to do, you actually get to impact people on a on a level that's really personal, and and that goes from all the way from kids all the way up to grown adults. So that that's really why I got into the job and why I love it.
SPEAKER_00I was the one one the last training I did uh in 2006, I had returned to use and was in a mental health crisis in in this town, and and I'll never I I didn't I couldn't remember at the time, but I was talking about it in the training that you know I'll never forget an EP Day officer coming into the little place I was living in and getting down on his knees, and eye to eye I get a little emotional and just being human with me. And Ray Sedaniel was in there and he said that was me. And I'm like, dude, you you saved my life. Like, you know, he came in because there was a welfare check, and and um so I always like to recognize the impact, the positive impact law enforcement, because you guys see the negative all the time, right? Yeah, you don't like you're just saying, you don't always get a hear about people that turn their lives around. Yeah, not because it's bad, not because they're you know, whatever. They make their change in their yeah, they move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's uh it's I'm good that that happens for you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and real quick, Ray is a absolute stud of a police officer. He's a great sergeant, yeah, great human. Yeah, and I'm glad to hear that. You know, he's but he's done stuff for fellow officers and for the community for years. I mean, yeah and it's crazy because every officer has those those contacts or has done that for somebody or multiple people in their career and maybe just haven't heard about it. And it's it's nice when you when you just when you hear about it, you're just thinking, okay, that's yeah, I'm doing my job.
Bonding Over Brothers And Grit
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. Yeah. All right, let's let's dive into a question. Cool. This has been great just with the intro. So, as a police officer and a family man, how do you define integrity and how has that definition for you evolved over the years? Cool.
Integrity On The Street And Beyond
SPEAKER_02Well, um, integrity and I have had a um really good relationship in my career. Professionally speaking, integrity has never wavered. I I love this job so much that I take it very seriously. Um we're bound by policies and procedures that we need to adhere to. We learn those right off the bat and we stick to those, right? I mean, that's kind of our guiding light within our own community and our own police department. Um obviously, state law, federal law, um following the Constitution, uh, state and federal. Right. That's that all um kind of guides who we can be as police officers. Um but also there's kind of that that moral aspect and and that approach to where you kind of put your self um guided, like how you are as a person into the job and into the uniform. Absolutely. So that's kind of where I've came with my my approach to law enforcement is is maintaining staying within those bounds that I'm lawfully have to, but using those to guide me as as the officer that I am. So I think with integrity, it's mostly doing the right thing when no one's looking. And that's when you're you're taking the the witness statements that maybe you didn't necessarily have to, but you're building your case better, or you're getting the information that is probably gonna actually make it to where you don't have a you know probable cause to arrest somebody, to where you're like, hey, this I I'm gonna keep following up and get the information that the totality. Yeah, no matter what. So I I don't have a case here to arrest this person based on this information because I went the full gamut and I gathered everything. I mean, at face value, maybe I I could have arrested this person with the the information that I had from these two people, but then I I came over here and I followed up and I did more thorough police work and I found out hey, what they were saying wasn't in fact what happened. I you know, so I think for for integrity as far as a police officer goes, it is is just maintaining the the scope of your lawful authority and doing the best job that you can throughout the the whole process.
SPEAKER_00This is perfect, and not surprising, like this is who you are. Yeah. So how does this translate as a coach for rest uh uh coaching kids?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I mean, um so I just to be completely transparent, I I've had times in my life where I've faltered and I failed myself, my personal integrity, my personal convictions, or my moral code or compass. Um, and and those things at that time I felt like I was like, man, this this sucks to be this person, to to fail on this level, or to let myself down, or let family or friends down, or to be a person that I necessarily didn't want to be, or that people didn't think that I was capable of being and I think the best part about life and about being a human is just that you can have that lived experience and you can come back from it. So I've failed enough in my life, Dave, to where I'm like, you know what? Um I'm not gonna do that again. And I'm gonna here's how I'm gonna fix it, and here's what I'm going to do to um push forward. And wrestling was one of those things that kind of created this foundational hard work and um uh drive to succeed. Um, because in wrestling itself, I failed so many times. I've gotten pinned by people that I should have uh beat. I showed up and just didn't wrestle well. Uh went out on the mat at practice and didn't give it my 100%, and then it showed that weekend at the tournament because maybe I didn't place or I didn't take first when I should have, or or uh didn't take second or third. It's uh wrestling's been one of those foundational things that's just kind of taught me resilience and how to keep pushing through hard times. So that's how I use wrestling in my personal life. Yeah. Um is to just just kind of have that foundation of of hard work and determination to not give up. Just keep going. When you have those setbacks or you start losing in life or you start making mistakes that you don't normally wouldn't make or shouldn't be making, um it's important to call yourself out and be like, what's the why am I why am I failing here? Why am I doing this? And wrestling, if you're not putting in the work and the effort, it's gonna show it's gonna show because you're uh you're an individual, and when you get out on that mat, if you were goofing off at practice or you didn't go to practice, you're not paying attention, you're going through the motions, you're not eating healthy.
SPEAKER_00Um you don't have a team to kind of pick you up. It's you and the other, yeah, the other guy.
SPEAKER_02It's gonna highlight and it's gonna be there. So for me, wrestling, wrestling's been kind of that foundational thing. It's like, hey, like this is on you. And that and that's I think directly correlates to like your personal life and your professional for you as an officer, for me as an officer and as a human. Is like if I'm not putting in the work on myself, it highlights the day of the match. And um so I I use wrestling because I started at five years old and I went through 12, and then I didn't have a college program that I went to, so I started working on my career goals. But I I just use it as this building block of like, hey, when you're down or when you're not doing as good as you could be, you need to work harder, you need to identify the problem, what's going on, why am I not finding success here and identify that. Stop doing that, make changes and learn, grow. And then all of a sudden people start seeing, oh, he's winning again. Yeah, he's doing great. And um, you show up on that tournament, you you place in state, you you know, you get college offers or whatever it might be. Um, and I try to push that on to my five to fourteen year old is hey guys, you need to work here, and if you want to be successful here, you have to put in the work. I'm gonna help you, I'm gonna give you the tools to do it, but nobody can force you but you. Yeah, and that's kind of um what I found in my personal and professional life is is when you are yeah, when you're when you're wavering and when you're kind of falling off, it's because of you. It's you can point the finger at everybody else, but realistically, if you control yourself and start working, you're gonna bounce back. Yeah, and that's why I like wrestling, is it's just it does not allow you to slip, like you have to put in the work and so where does this is this is great.
SPEAKER_00Um so where does this come from for you? You you have this real innate, authentic, deep desire to do well. Yeah. Where does that come from?
Wrestling As A Blueprint For Life
SPEAKER_02Um, I think I'm driven for success um from my family. Um uh they were all very humble servants, and they but they were all successful, um, and they all just worked their asses off um and all the time, nonstop.
SPEAKER_00What year were you born?
SPEAKER_02Uh 87. Yeah, okay. Way way back in the day. Yeah, there was carriages and strong. Yeah, um, so 87.
SPEAKER_00So, you know, we didn't even have carriages. You go on, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So born in 87, uh raised in the 90s, the 90s rocked. I loved it, it was great. Um, but my family just worked their ass.
SPEAKER_00But you had models, family.
SPEAKER_02I had family showed hard work, dedication, perseverance. Yep. Yeah, my grandpa and my dad worked non-stop all the time to give us a very fantastic life. We have a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00But you're also you're you you're also a uh like you're cool, you're a good guy, you're you're easy to talk to, right? There are some people who work, work, work, work, and it's like, oh gosh. Yeah, where does that come from? The personable, the able to communicate.
SPEAKER_02I've always been kind of a um extroverted type person. Like I just enjoy getting to know people, and I think this job's actually helped me develop that. I've always liked to talk, I've always been a talker. I was a class clown. I actually wish I would have paid more attention in high school, but also a class leader, class leader, yeah. But also um I think the gift of gab of yeah of just being able to use humor and talk through things has been just kind of one of my strong points. Um, but I I I just think that I really enjoy talking to people and getting to know people, and I actually use humor, specifically dark humor during really crappy times to push through stuff. Yeah. Because there's times where people are really going through it or having a bad day, or I'm on a call. And if you can make them laugh or you can just talk to them, yes, or just open them up, like it's it makes a world of difference.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I, you know, we have well, I guess we have that similarity in that my family, you know, I've lived a crazy life, but one thing we always had was humor, and some people would look at the humor and go, Why are you laughing at that? But you know, sometimes it can help keep you going. Yeah, right? That someone might look at why you're laughing at this crazy situation, and I'm just like, Well, you know what? I'm just trying to get through the day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm I'm actually dealing with some stuff right now, but laughing helps it. Like, yeah, that's yeah, and I think that when you bring that into other people's lives, when you're like, hey, I know you're down, or or you're obviously having a tough time right now. How can I make this better, even if it's for a couple minutes?
SPEAKER_00How can I lift you up? How can I lift you up a little bit? Yeah, super cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I think that you know, another thing, if we got back to my foundational of how I became kind of the way I am, is is like I talked about my brother, and I'll continue to talk about him because I love him to death, is that he was the straight A student. He was the dude that had the friends, he had the the good-looking girlfriends from high school. He was a state champion wrestler. The guy was an absolute beast. He was a stud, got onto the um cross-country team, did well there. Killed it. Everything he did, he's good at. And it's my brother Bob's thing. Yeah. And I was not like I was good at stuff, I was decent at stuff, but everything he worked for it, yeah, he's just natural. Yeah. So all of my life I was kind of in that shadow. You had this bar that was up here. He's this dude, dude. And I'm looking at it, and he's just successful and doing well, and I'm like, I want to be like that. I better put in the work. Yeah. And so I started doing it, and I found my own successes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and but I really do from from the kind of grid of it, if I'm looking back at it, I really attributed a lot of my success and hard work and and kind of how I'm driven to watching him move. And plus, um, he used to beat the crap out of me uh when we'd be at home a little bit. I mean, he didn't he he wasn't a bully, but if he wanted to, he would manhandle me. And that, I mean, as a little as a boy or or you're growing up, you you learn how to be tough when your older brother's strong arming you.
Addiction, Trauma, And Real Recovery
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. We well, same thing, Bob, my brother Bob. I hope he I'm gonna send him the link to this when I get it, because he was the star athlete. Yeah, he would fucking everything, dude. Like golf, tennis, basketball. You could go bowling and he would be he'd be like a mace in that. And and I I did wrestling, that was the only sport I did, but I had to really work hard at it. You know, I was able to get good at it, but he same thing, that's really fascinating. Uh, we have those similar lines with our brothers. All right, thank you for sharing all that. Really, I you know, this is a good one. Like uh we're we're supposed to be in each other's lives, I think, at the at some level because we have so many similarities. Um, so the next question is from where you sit, and and personally, professionally, just overall, what do you think people most misunderstand about addiction and the path to recovery?
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah, so I I've dealt with tons of of um people in addiction, uh, drug overdoses to include. I've I've saved lives, brought them back, I've watched people die, I've had children uh die in front of me or or investigated those controlled substance homicides. Um just it you run the gamut, I've I've I've dealt with it. And I'm not the only one, all of our officers are doing it, but personally speaking, it's I've seen it. I've seen what addiction does to people. I've seen how families um uh deal with it, and it it's a rough go. Um I I think the thing about addiction is I uh people would always be like, oh, you know, addiction is a disease. And back in in my earlier, younger, not as educated life, I was like, no, it's a choice. Addiction's a choice. Yep, yep. And as you start like really getting into it and dealing with these people on a on a on a level to which it's kind of personal and seeing it personally, you're watching people die, yeah, you're contacting people sitting in their car at three in the morning passed out um with a torch in their lap, you know, they're scratching scratch off tickets at the 7-Eleven at two in the morning drinking monsters, and yeah, they got a pipe next to them. It's like you see all this, and I I guess that it's just they're just having a human experience and they're trying to figure some stuff out. And what I've found is that a lot of these people that are going through this, if you really talk to them and you really break it down with them, there's a root of why they're doing this, and a lot of it is in my professional opinion, please, is um there's some sort of trauma or something that happened in their past that they're self-medicating.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and we will never arrest our way out of this problem, in my personal opinion. Um, and I originally I I was heavily I'm still him, I still arrest people for drug uh possession for especially for uh the drug dealers. Um but early on I was arresting a lot of uh drug users, um passing that information on to our detectives so they can go after the uh the dealers, obviously. Yeah, um, but I think that a lot of people think that it's just a choice or that people enjoy using the drugs, or maybe they're just having fun partying. But if you really talk to people and you're able to break them down and be like, hey man, like why are you doing this? And uh if they're gonna be vulnerable with you, it's gonna be like awesome. I lost my mother when I was a child, and my dad abused me throughout the entirety of my my um childhood, and I just never was the same. And using fentanyl pills every day helps me forget or heals the pain, or how many times I've had people be like, I was a businessman, I had a family, I had everything that you wanted, but I got in, you know, like let's say uh a motorcycle accident. I hurt my back and I got on pain meds, but the pain meds went away, and I started um getting street stuff so I could self-medicate. And you're like, you're watching this person who, in every sense of the word, was doing successful things. And then all of a sudden they're like, Yeah, and then I then I started using pills, I started running out of money, I started, you know, I was missing work, I was missing uh appointments, I was not not um you know with my children as much as I want to, and now I'm here. So you you've seen the reality that it affects everyone, it affects everyone, it's not just one demographic. No, it's a huge fallout, and a lot of people are like, oh, you know, these tweakers, these tweakers, they're ruining our town, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're ruining this community. It's like, well, sure. I you know, it like there are some people that are drug addicts that are also going out and breaking in the cars, breaking into houses, committing crimes. There are. And those are the people that were uh me personally speaking, um, that I am interested in intervening with and um interdicting and making sure that they don't, specifically people that are dealing or hauling uh the drugs, distributing throughout a community, like I I'm coming for you. And there's multiple hard charging deputies and officers in this community that are coming for you. Um but for the people that are actually struggling with addiction that are using for whatever reason it is, there's resources and help out there, yeah. Um, and we want to get you there. And it I it's nothing personal. I don't want to arrest you because you're using drugs. I want you to get sober. Um, but if it takes me arresting you and you getting put in the system to start that process, I don't lose sleep over that. And you know, my brother, for example, was that case he ended up getting arrested and ended up going through the drug court here and found success with that and never looked back.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, good thing.
SPEAKER_02Um, so the the criminal justice system does work, but also social services do as well. So, and and I think one of the things we really need to focus on is working our criminal justice um agencies and our social services, yeah. Everybody on the same page, and that comes through communication and collaboration and developing programs that actually work and not just feel good. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um you know, and on my almost 25-year anniversary of living in this county, I've always, like since 2001 on, been impressed as a more rural county. We've been on the forefront of doing some really cool things. Ed Button in our jail, oh my gosh, doing phenomenal things on hey, if we've got someone in jail, let's get them some resources to do what you're talking, let's uh treat the underlying causes so that we can stop that cycle. Because you're you are absolutely right. Here you are, longtime law enforcement. I like I didn't say anything. We are not gonna arrest our way out of this problem, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it it sucks because you'll contact people and they may have just got out of prison or they may have just got out of jail, and then you contact them and maybe they commit another crime, or for whatever reason you contact them and they're using again right off the bat. Yeah, and you talk to them and they're like, I have nobody to come back to.
SPEAKER_00I'm out on the streets, no place to live, yeah, no job, no resources.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and some of that some of that is there's there's an element to where, like we talked about earlier, you gotta want it. Yeah. Because people come back and they're giving they're given options. Some people are, yep. And either they're not taking them or they abuse them or they take them for granted, yeah, and then they lose them, and then they're like, Well, poor me, woe's me. And it's like it's like, hey, dude, um, yeah, we're trying, but you're not trying. So I I guess my my main message is is that if you want something, you have to go get it. Nobody's gonna give it to you. And if you are given an opportunity, you better take care of it and actually use it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if there, and I'm always like, I'm I'm also one guy who's been through treatment a couple times, who's been to lots of counseling. We need to keep providing the resources, but also hold people accountable.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely. And I do not think that just, you know, I send you to rehab. One and done. One and done, you come out and fail. Well, Dave, you had your chance. So on with the next. Yeah. Um, it it's kind of a um it's a process, and it's there's a lot of um just I think consistency is key. Super cool.
Resilience On The Worst Days
SPEAKER_00Good. Uh this segue. Let's do this one. I think we've answered a little bit of this, but we'll do it anyway. You've seen some people on some of their worst days. What have those moments taught you about human resilience? Yeah, uh, I've seen some people on absolutely awful. It doesn't just have to be drugs and alcohol.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, not at all. No, I've seen I've seen people on just, you know, from losing family members, you know, right in front of their faces to um, you know, the drugs and alcohol are a big one, um, domestic violence where you you find like key figures of of the community, and you go to their house and and you never knew it, but it there was like a uh, you know, there's an element of domestic that's been happening for quite some time. Um, or you know, you get those pillars of the community or business owners or people that are well respected, and then you find out that their home life and and their personal lives are are a mess and stuff's are falling through. Um, and so you see kind of the nitty-gritty of of these people, right? And it goes from peel back the onion. You peel back the actual onion and what's not on social media, yeah, and you find out that everybody is just living life and trying to figure stuff out. And I and I've contacted people that are you know million-dollar you know business owners or um people that are homeless on the street, and everywhere in between, um, there's people dealing with something. And I think with resilience, I think that the key to that is to just identify what the issue is, what your problem is, or why you're being set back, and put a plan in motion to get there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And also to be willing to reach out for help.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I think we have a lot of proud people that aren't willing to just be like, hey, you know, Dr. D, I'm struggling right now. Would you be able to offer me resources? Right. And I there's a lot of pride, especially in men that I've seen. Yeah. Um, but a lot of people are keeping their problems and their issues quiet. And I think that if we were able to just speak up and call out what's causing the problem, there's resources for whatever that issue is.
SPEAKER_00You know, and that's one of the reasons I part, not like real specific, but as a male, I speak loudly about my life and my process in hopes to help anyone. But I think a lot of men, we do. We just we just keep it, keep it. I'm okay. Yeah, I'm not gonna feel all right.
SPEAKER_02I'm not gonna burden you with my problems. Yeah, you know, like I I can deal with this myself. And I and I've ran into that my on my own accord of where I'm like, I, you know, like I'm you know, failing right now, but I'm not gonna put this on TV. But what I found the most success with is is finding people that actually care about you and love you and want good for you, yeah, and just being like, hey, this is who I am. I'm a mess right now. Can you help me clean this? Yep. Um, but as far as resilience goes, I I I feel that I've watched a lot of people in this community and throughout my job bounce back off of really crappy situations or really bad circumstances. Uh maybe they left a marriage that was failing or very toxic, or maybe they stopped a gambling addiction, or um they stopped drinking or alcohol use, or um it just they've they've stopped that and they've put a plan in motion.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then you talk to them a couple years later and they're like, oh yeah, I'm I'm way better, or my marriage is great. We went through counseling, or you know, I got a divorce and have since been you know happier and and um you know doing this, that, or the other. And you see people that actually put a plan in motion and start chipping away at those goals, it's not gonna happen in a day, but those people that are willing to put in the work, I've watched kind of bounce back, and I think resiliency is a lot of just maintaining a consistent day-to-day plan of how you're going to be better than the day before.
SPEAKER_00I like it. Yeah, it's you know, you've said a couple things that uh I agree with. One thing you've talked about, you know, when we make mistakes, I think it's important to because I'm a guy like the past is the past. You you can't do anything about the past. So mostly I think we need to stay out of it. But you said something that I say that you do need to look and at least evaluate why you made the mistake or why you keep making the mistake so you can fix it, come up with a plan and move forward, right? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, really good. No, I I think that yeah, I just feel like people that are on their worst days, I feel like you think that everybody's judging you and everybody um everybody's gonna know you as that forever. And I I think that there's a lot of shame comes with failure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02And and I know that you can resonate with that, but but I honestly I think on a grander scale, um, you know, kind of the spotlight effect of thinking that everybody's staring at you or thinking that everybody's watching you fail and wishing for that, where realistically there's only a handful of people that are really hating on you and want want your downfall, and everybody else is like, come on, David, pull out, let's go. Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, so I think that if you can get past the stigma of being a failure in whatever sense of the word it was, and you're willing to push forward, I think that people more people will root for you. Yeah, they're gonna root for you and they're gonna forget about your past. A cool thing that I have going on right now, and how the world kind of goes full circle is in my wrestling program, I have a parent that's helping me coach. Um his kid's one of my um um uh little teammates, and um him and I I used to deal with him in a criminal justice capacity, used to chase him around all the time. Um, he's been arrested for felonies, he was uh big into drugs. Now he's kicking butt, he's doing good for himself, he's making a good living, he's sober, he's a great dad. Um, he helps me with the with the coaching, and I get along well with him. And to be honest with you, I never think about those times that him and I have dealt with you. I don't care. Yeah, like I'm just proud of you for who you are now, and you're a nice dude. And I would even I would even have you over to my house or go hunting or fishing with you. I I don't care about people's past as long as they're just moving forward and working.
Boundaries, Balance, And Coping
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know, you made me think of something that um people have said to me and I've appreciated, and you're kind of speaking about it with talking about you've you've met people along the way in all walks of life who've gone through stuff is that when I've shared my story, a lot of people will say, Yeah, you know what, I've made some mistakes myself along the way, but I just didn't get caught or whatever it is. And you know, it's it's always that that common human bond of none of us are perfect, yeah, right? We all screw up. And when we tend to attribute levels of screwing up, I think that's where we we get tripped up a little bit. Um certainly I wouldn't want anyone to go through the things I've gone through. I say that to college students on campus, but we're all gonna falter, right? We're all gonna And we all have.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And if it's not out in the air and if it's not well known, like you're not on the police blot or you're not at social media, yeah, not at everybody, you know, the topic of everybody's conversation at the local. Dinner table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But everybody that's sitting at that dinner table that's talking has also got stuff going on. And uh that's what is crazy about life because you have people that are really, really, really judgmental and that are throwing stones and shade at people, but they also need to look inward and be like, hey, if your stuff ever came out, you probably wouldn't want the same behavior, so let's back it off a little bit. Um that's that's honestly what I I try to try to bring into this job is when I'm contacting people, whether it be you know, like the domestic violence situation where you know, uh uh you know, somebody that's in all sense of the word, a pillar of the community, or or they're kind of respected in the community, they faltered and something happened. Like I have a job to do, it's nothing personal between you and I, yeah. Um, but uh you're under arrest for this. However, I'm not judging you about it. I'm not gonna go post about it, I'm not gonna talk to you and my friends and family about this. Yeah this was a decision that you made. Let's work past it professionally, and then it's on to the next. And I um, you know, I just think that a lot of people would benefit from just being like, you know, hearing information about somebody or seeing somebody that's down, yeah, and rather than kicking and pointing and laughing, just being like, man, that really sucks. I hope you pull out of it. Yeah, but I'm gonna mind my business over here. Yeah, perfect. See ya.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, very good. Okay, we're gonna roll into the last question for you, then we're gonna go into our closing questions. Okay. Uh so in a profession that no one would argue it carries pressure, scrutiny, and a lot of responsibility, how do you personally stay grounded and centered?
SPEAKER_02So when I'm not working, um, I try to um stay away from uh police work and and law enforcement and anything that has to do with the job. Okay. I I limit myself to the amount of law enforcement friends that I have and and talk to um just because I don't want to share war stories or talk about work on my time off. Um I just found hobbies or find hobbies or enjoy hobbies that that aren't work related. Um and I like to do those. I I like to hunt, I like to be outdoors, I like to do backcountry type stuff and and camp in tents and be dirty and smelly and bloody and all the things that come with hunting. And um, I like to bring my kids along with me. I enjoy camping. My uh fiance and I enjoy um road trips and going and seeing cool stuff. We've spent um a couple days up in Banff last year, which is amazing. So have you ever been there? No, it's gorgeous. Every lake is cool. The people up there are great, it's mountains are awesome. Um just finding hobbies that I that I like to do and and just kind of Go and relieve those stressors because there's some dark, dark things that officers see. And I think that if you're not out at least getting some of that light that the world actually has, then you're gonna circum to um the kind of the evil. Um I but realistically, right now, um I don't have a lot of time to go out and do stuff or find like different hobbies because I'm I'm too busy being a dad, um, a fiance, and um really dive coaching, dude. I but those are huge, right?
SPEAKER_00Because when you're coaching, you're not copping.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, one of my favorite things is um being called coach. Like when a kid comes up to me, like I'll be at Safeway grabbing uh, you know, some food or whatever, yeah, and a kid comes up and says, Hey coach, and like like pats me on the arm and I look and it's one of my kids, I'm like, dude, I I love it. Or you see them five months later and they call you coach. It's like what a great feeling. And yeah, and I still always be coached. And I'll always be coach. And I remember my coaches when I was a kid, and there were some great coaches, yeah, and there were some coaches that you know weren't so great, but I still learn something from them. And and kind of what I've been taking in is just like learning something from everybody, and especially as a supervisor in law enforcement, kind of picking at positive attributes that you learn from other people um and taking those as your own moving forward in this profession, but also seeing the stuff that maybe you didn't resonate well with, or you think I wouldn't want somebody else to feel that way when I talk to them like that or when I handle the situation like that, um, and to make sure to not have that moving forward. Uh, but coaching is rad. And I like it.
A Message To Anyone Feeling Stuck
SPEAKER_00So you you have really what I'm hearing, and it it makes sense because you really put things into action, is you have true work-life balance. Yeah, when you're at work, you're working, like you're all in. I have no doubt about that. But when you're not working, you're not working. I shut it off. You're you're all in on your hobbies and your family. Yeah. And has that ever and because you see the dark stuff, is that ever a struggle with certain situations? Um I guess give me an example. Like I don't know, you see a murder victim, or you are you you're you know, you're on shift and you go to a really chaotic domestic violence. Are you is it ever a struggle to shut that off?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um, yeah, especially when you see people victimized. Um, and you know, like I, you know, I've seen children at scenes where their their mother's deceased and they don't recognize what's going on, but you just know that their entire life just changed. And um, or you know, somebody burning alive in a building, and there's nothing you can do but sit there and try to get fire on scene and and and try to get them the fire out. It's yeah, there's there's stuff like that where you see that and you deal with that stuff. It's really heavy, but what I've found success in Dr. D is I leave work, I go home and I I talk to my significant other about it, and uh, she allows me to kind of share some stories. Yep. Um and um and then I find healthy ways to cope. Um and in my in my past life, you know, like I I leaned a little too hard on alcohol to try to cope with some of the the stuff that that I had seen or done. Sure. And it wasn't working. So I cut that way back. Um good for you. And so but I but I didn't realize that that was a coping mechanism until I was like, wait a minute, I this is not good. So now what I will do is if I see something bad, you know, like I had I had a super busy weekend last weekend. Really busy. We had some some dynamic cases, some stuff went on. And you just go home, reflect about it, and I like to kind of think what I did good, what I could have done better, um, and um do some takeaways from it. Yeah. And then that way, if something happens in the future, I'm I kind of have a better game plan on how I'm gonna address that. Um but I I heavily focused on just developing my children and spending time with them, and I don't want to project um depression or um you know that darkness that this job can bring. So I I just focus on on being a good dad and and just trying to push everything that has happened um into my professional pocket and leave it there. Um and you know, we have we have access to therapy and we have access to um uh to folks at work that we can talk to if we want to, but um I just I I don't utilize them. And the reason is is I feel like I have a good support system at home that allows me to be a sound just as a sounding word.
SPEAKER_00That's awesome.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, super cool.
SPEAKER_00Good. Okay, we're almost the home stretch. Okay. So here's your opportunity. You you I know you do this when you're out on the streets or even with coaching, but this this if someone's listening to this or watching this on YouTube down the road and they're feeling stuck, whether in like addiction, or just maybe, you know, because you you can speak good to this, I think no direction. What would you want them to hear from you? What would you want them to glean from what you're about to say?
SPEAKER_02If you are failing right now, in whatever sense of the word, if it's something that you feel like you're failing, or your family's said, hey, you're failing, or your friends are like, hey, you're you're you're not doing well right now. I think what I would take away or or give for you to take away is that it can get better. And just because no matter what age you are, I've watched people turn their lives around at at elevated ages, and you just need to identify the problem and put a plan in motion of how you're going to fix that problem. And I know it's easier said than done, but I think a lot of it is cutting out the people that are negative or or toxic in your life and surrounding yourself with a good support.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But calling out what you're doing wrong and admitting your faults, I think is is something that I found worked for me. Just say this is who I am, this is what's not working, and this is why it isn't working. What can I do to get better? And um just know it gets better because I've I've had people that have just just they just feel like they're failures or they're losers or they're never gonna get better. And I've had a person tell me, they're like, I'm a drug addict, it's who I am, it's who I always will be, I'll never be anyone different. And I I disagreed with them. We had a good conversation, yeah. And probably four years later at this point, because that was probably four years ago, this person's kicking ass. They're sober, they are helping others that are that are in active addiction, and they are making the community better because they decided enough was enough. Yeah, and they're the ones that put that plan in motion. Just don't give up on yourself. We have a short life, and this ride is crazy, nobody's perfect, and all those people that are shitting on you or making you feel bad or pointing fingers at you or gossiping about you or talking about you, um, they're insecure about their own little reasons and just don't listen to them because you have more to offer and there's obviously a reason they're insecure and feel to put feel a reason to put you down. So just don't give up.
The Host’s Foundations And Mentors
SPEAKER_00This is great. You I like how you you know you and I are alike in that you know, if if I have a problem, like I'm I I in my life now, I try not to dwell on it much. Like, let's just try to figure it out and move forward. And that's Katrina and I are like that in our marriage and in our working lives. It's like, okay, it's a problem. Not to be dismissive that you're gonna have emotions about it, or you might dwell on it a little bit, but man, if I dwell on it too long, yeah, it's gonna eat you. Yeah, yeah. And that's what happens, I think, with a lot of people, and I empathize with that because I've been in those places where you have maybe this problem here and you don't address that problem, so then comes in another problem, then comes in another, and we get in our head and we make it this huge thing. Yeah, let's keep break break it down, yeah, is what I hear you saying. Identify it and come up with a solution or solutions and start attacking it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And I I think that I think that when we get in our own heads and we start actually like feeling like we're failing, or we just keep you know doing the same things over and over again and we can't pull out of that problem. I think we give up on ourselves. Yes, and when we give up on ourselves, that projects to others. Yes, and it it just yeah, it it doesn't look well. And I think that if you just trust in yourself and know that you're capable of a lot of amazing things, if you just put it to work, then I think it will always get better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like see this, yes, like I lived a life, like when you're talking about I I thought at some points in my life, well, I'm an addict, I'm a drug addict, alcoholic, that's who I am, that's always who no, no, screw that. Yeah, that's not my identity. That's not who I'm a human. We've talked a lot about this. I'm a human, I've tripped, I've fallen, but I can turn this around. Yep, and I'm capable of amazing things. And this talk, I think the last one, my sister gave me that sign on my wall over there that says he believed he could, so he did.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, it's like, okay, what's next? Yep. And let's start attacking the problem and do good things. Yep.
SPEAKER_02Let's put a plan in motion.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. What's a question you've always wanted to ask me?
SPEAKER_02Well, so when you were at EPD, you shared a lot about your past and about um basically the negatives on on how you you came up, like, you know, through chaos. Yeah, through chaos. But I I kind of want to know what are some things in your early childhood, you know, even in your dirt early adult life, like that are foundational things that kind of formed you to be a hard worker that you are now or the man that you are now, because you do a lot of really rad stuff, yeah, and you have a lot of cool hobbies.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, what are some things that kind of formulated actually and helped you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I my family, uh primarily from the Tacoma area. Uh, I grew up in restaurants, is what I say. Um, my aunt, my grandma, my mom, even my biological father, they all either managed or owned restaurants. So one of my first jobs was a dishwasher in a restaurant. And in that industry, you work. Blue collar, right? So that's what I grew up in. My even in the chaos, my mom always worked. She in my mom was a single mom raising four of us, and mom always had one job, usually had two jobs. While that didn't bode well for us kids who were home alone, she always worked, she always modeled that because she had to, she didn't have a choice. Um, so that was always modeled, and oh uh, we always had a clean home. Again, you might have came to our house as a police officer on a call and went, this seems odd because the house would be eerily clean and organized, but there was a lot of stuff going on. Yeah. So she always kept a clean home, so you know, being organized, clean, and neat. And then for me, the military. I went in the military when I was 17, and um that actually helped me significantly. While it didn't help with drinking and there were other stuff, I did learn about working as a team and you know, uh freaking folding my clothes, right? There's it's a lot more than that, but that helped me a lot. So I did, and then my brother, Bob, I hope he watches this one. He he was my hero. You know, he was my guiding light. And my sisters, I know my older siblings kept me safe in situations where it could have been even worse. Um, so yeah, my family, you know, while it was chaotic, uh, I do come from a family of always worked, always had that strong work ethic. And and my I always say this about my mom. I know she always wanted uh a healthy family. Did it ever happen? Not really, but I know she always wanted that. So, and grandparents, I'll close it up. I had grandparents and aunts and uncles who didn't have quite as much chaos as we did. And I think of my grandma Hesselwood and my grandpa Hesselwood, my Uncle Gary, who's still alive. Um, those were kind of beacons of hope for me. Um, so that's where it comes from. Cool, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I think my last question for you is who's a leader um in your past um that you feel kind of shaped who you are, and who's a leader in the present that you feel has an impact on you um today?
Closing Reflections And Gratitude
SPEAKER_00Great. Uh so Johnny Ravel, uh he was the stepdad who came into my life. I was eight or nine years old. Um he was him and my mom were married until he died. He died at a young age, but um, he's why I ride motorcycles, he's who my dog's named after. Um he was the one dad, you know, we had dads of the week that he actually stuck around and he gave a shit. And he he disciplined me in a healthy way and cared about me in a way that was hugely impactful. Hugely. His death was very traumatic for me. Um he died of cancer at a young age, but he to this day. And then today, gosh, um, you know, I there's a there's an individual in the community, uh Kim Fyle, he's kind of like a father figure to me. Um while we don't talk quite as much as we used to, um, he's always been someone I can go to and kind of like you're talking about, have someone to talk to, have someone to share things with, and he's always um been someone to challenge me and to encourage me. Um so yeah, there you go. Good. Okay. Awesome. Thank you for sharing. Yeah, thanks for doing this. Yeah, this is great. Can we hug? Yeah, I see. This was awesome.